And apparently one of mine is procrastination when it comes to my blog. Even now I sit here writing with a movie on, glass of wine poured, and Facebook on my other window tab. Also my iPhone is right next to me because apparently it is too hard for me to shut out the world and just write...is that what our world has become? We all have to be so attached to technology that we can't just turn it off and write. Even our books have become digital. Don't get me wrong, I love my laptop, my phone and my Kobo but sometimes I think we all need to turn off the world and just...be. It's in this time that we discover who we are as individuals. Where we can discover our dreams and desires and what we hope the future will bring us. Whether it's sitting down and escaping in a book, planning a dream trip or just meditating to escape the craziness of the world we live in I am a firm believer that everyone needs time to be alone with themselves and no one else.
Lately I have used this time alone to really think about what I want out of life. Not just with personal issues but with my professional life as well. I have come to a point in my life where I need to be happy with myself and my career and lately I have been finding the latter lacking. Although I won't go into detail right now about the changes I am thinking about I can say they are definitely major and would take my life down a whole new road. Is this scary to me? Absolutely! Can I see past the scared feeling and realize that it may be the best leap I ever take? I'm getting there. Change has always been hard for me whether it's myself that needs to change or the circumstances surrounding me that need change. I think a lot of it comes from low self-esteem in a bad relationship earlier in my life (we don't talk about that anymore..that's looking back at the negative and I don't do that) but all I know is that time in my life gave me many walls and trust issues...both with myself and my relationships..if I have let you into my whole life you are a lucky one and obviously mean the world to me. The walls are a whole other issue..they are there ready for someone to climb over..but at the same time, they are waiting for me to scale them to. Harder than it seems? For sure. Will I do it? Damn straight I will. Just takes a little drive and a whole lot of encouragement from the people that mean the most to me.
The biggest step I've made to getting over fears is to take the leap and go to Europe for a month with some really great friends. I will finally get to visit all those places I love in my dreams. Paris in Winter..check! London when it's most at itself, rainy and grey in March..check! And Tuscany in Spring..check! Will definitely be the trip of a lifetime and even though I am living lean till the time comes to leave it is absolutely worth it. And from this trip comes the start of my new journey..the journey of me..what comes at the end of the trip? Well, that's an answer we're both waiting on...so cheerio, au revoir and ciao for now!!
