Ok, so technically it is well into the New Year but it is my Birthday this month therefore it is a new year for me! I have decided that this year is the last year I am going to be overweight, unhealthy and unmotivated. I started by going Gluten-free at the beginning of January and it has made me feel great on the inside..now it is time to make me feel great on the outside. I thought it was going to be difficult to go GF but it really hasn't been. I chose to do it to be healthier, not because I couldn't have it. So there are definitely cheats in there once in awhile...usually in the form of a dessert. The next step in my transformation is joining the gym. Thanks to a push from my sister and a great corporate rate at our neighbourhood gym I started going two weeks ago and I am surprisingly LOVING it!!! I used to be really active and athletic in my teens and early twenties but I managed to fall into that trap that so many women do. You know the one...meet a guy, get comfortable, eat crappy and as much as him and start the gain. It's not much at first but all of a sudden 15 years has passed and you have had 2 not so great relationships, a couple career changes, life upheavals in general and you are now 50lbs more than you were before. Not a great feeling at all. I am in no way blaming anyone but myself for this and therefore it can only be me that changes it.
It doesn't help that I come from a family full of weight issues and negative pressures. Don't get me wrong, my family is the world to me and my greatest support system but growing up it is very hard to get past the passive aggresiveness of some family members. Being asked if I want more, then telling me I am looking chubby is not a great confidence booster in a teenage girl already struggling with self confidence issues. To go from a bad relationship in the same time I was going to culinary school probably didn't help either. The joys of food and all that surrounds it is a very hard thing to get past. Not until I left my second relationship and went back to school in healthcare did I realize the damage I was doing to my body with the way I was eating and not exercising. I consider myself a pretty healthy eater now with some allowance for cheats so I don't end up binging on anything I shouldn't be having. It was the exercise part of losing weight and getting healthy again that was a barrier. I just didn't have the energy with a typical crazy healthcare schedule. I now work only nights ( and bring all my snacks pre-made ) and have a consecutive 4 days off in a week that I can get a good active schedule in. My goal is to lose 50-70lbs. I haven't given myself a length of time in which to do this...just until it's done.
I am embarking on this journey for myself and only myself this time...and I think that is why it feels right. I have the support of my family and some amazing friends and with that I am sure I will succeed. Pics will come throughout of my progress..I have been pretty good at eluding the camera from the neck down for the past 10years...I think it's time to stop.
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